Trust is the glue that binds us. It is the purest bond between two human beings; the guiding light of all interaction. The world takes no mercy on those still living with the innocent gullibility of youth. However veterans to the cruel realities of trust still find a way to believe in the greater good. We actually have no choice - in the end we must trust. The future with trust is more certain than a future without it. Every cooperative effort requires trust. Even an unruly mob of prisoners must trust each other - even if it's to the smallest degree possible for survival. Circumstances like prison can build even stronger bonds of trust due to the extreme circumstances in which trust must develop. On the lowest level trust allows relationships to function and the result is survival. On the highest level, trust allows relationships to function and the result is love. The deepest levels of trust build at the peak of true love. The tragedy of love is most severe when the bond of trust has been broken. Instead of building walls for everyone after we've been deceived, we have to learn how to welcome some and shut out others. The quality of life suffers if we don't know how to filter. This requires trust intelligence. It's not whether we trust, but how we trust, that makes the difference in the quality of our life and interactions. Trust is the ability to predict future action. Intelligence is often used to describe a person of keen judgment. Keen judgment usually forms as a result of getting "burned" and learning from it. Getting burned is slang for a breach of trust. The more often you get burned in life, the more trust intelligent you should become. I say should because sometimes a person never learns. They never ask what they could do in the future to prevent the same mistake from happening again. That's just dumb. So how does a trust intelligent person work with trust? In other words how does a trust intelligent person use trust effectively? The first answer is to live trust according to the laws that bind us to it. This can be summed up in one word, integrity. Living a standard of life that allows you to be trusted. Remember - without trust it's impossible to function. The less trust you have, the less able you are to function. The more trust you have the more power you have to get things done. As a rule, the more you trust, the more you can be trusted. The less you trust, the less you can be trusted. The more walls you have the more you've barricaded your ability to function at a higher potential. So how do trust and also prepare for an assault? Isn't it true that without walls you can easily be taken for ransom? Yes. Your goal is to trust at your highest potential so you can operate at your highest potential. How do you do this? To answer this question we need to go back to intelligence; keen judgment. And let's further define what judgment is. Judgment is the ability to decide what is right and what is wrong. So an intelligent person develops a keen ability to judge what truth is and what is fallacy. This doesn't mean every truth or every fallacy - this just means the ability - and ability isn't always flawless. GOOD JUDGMENT Good judgment is usually the result of being able to decipher a series of smaller undeniable facts and organizing them into a final conclusion. That final conclusion may then stand as fact. Since most facts are formed by undeniable observations, ultimately observation is the root of good judgment. THE DIALOGUE OF SOUND TRUST Two people interacting with trust intelligence may have a dialogue that may sound like this, "I'm willing to cooperate with you because I don't have enough facts to support not cooperating with you." As time goes on and the relationship strengthens the dialogue may sound like this, "You've proven to be reliable and consistent with no facts to prove otherwise. I now have more facts to support our increasing cooperation." This creates a bond of trust. As more time goes on the dialogue may sound like this, "You've proven beyond a doubt that you can be trusted. I welcome you with open arms. I will conduct an audit from time to time to make sure we're both on the same wavelength but our deep level of cooperation allows us to share resources that we might not normally have access to." THE LEVELS OF TRUST (1) At the first level a cooperation begins but the relationship is guarded. There's a plus and minus to this part of the relationship. The structure allows a quick and safe pull out in case of unsavory intentions but at the same time the relationship is at its lowest point of functional ability - meaning a limited amount of resource sharing takes place. This is the most awkward stage of the relationship but the safest for both parties to make an easy exit in case things go wrong. (2) If after a reasonable amount of time (reasonable varies between person to person) no red flags allow for the relationship to progress, a deeper level of trust forms. As both parties become more entrenched in the relationship a quick and safe pull out is no longer possible. In fact a pull out at this point will mean an inevitable loss of resources. This could mean time resources, emotional resources, physical or financial resources. That's why the first stage is so guarded, because a loss occurs at the second stage and then it's too late to escape the relationship unscathed. We move to the second level of trust because while there may be greater risk, there's also greater reward. A cooperative effort will mean more gain than an individual effort alone. Time has allowed us to evaluate that the other parties intention is aligned with our own. (They aren't just trying to pirate our resources. Example: A woman allows herself to enter into a deeper level of trust with a man because she feels he isn't just trying to sleep with her.) (3) After an even longer period of time (varies from person to person) we enter the third and final stage of trust. In every evaluation facts have continued to support the belief that the other parties' intention is aligned with our own. They truly want to gain equally. Not more than fair (you are the loser), not less than fair (they are the loser), but equally (you both win). It is at this deepest level of trust where the reward can be greatest. Resource sharing flows freely and both parties have the potential to gain a great deal. Conversely there's also a great deal of risk. Because a great deal of reward has entered the equation there's also the element of greed that plays a role in this environment. Before entering the third level of trust the intelligent person will have evaluated the other parties' ability to deflect greed at the second level. In other words, if they didn't try to take advantage when they could have, this is usually a good indicator of how they will handle an enhanced level of Greed. This is where a track record of integrity becomes most important. Most relationships form only because there is some form of value to be gained. Whether that be as simple as a friendship or as complex as a business relationship. The value could be a sense of belonging or a greater financial gain. The intelligent person is either consciously or unconsciously evaluating the incentive of the other party versus their reward. In the best relationships both parties feel they gain equally. These are usually defined as "Best friends" or "Excellent partnerships". In the worst situations one side gains a great deal more than the other. These relationships are defined as, "One sided" or "Nightmare partnerships", they of course don't last very long. The intelligent person is aware of the evaluation process that goes on at every level of trust in the relationship. They openly communicate their concerns and in doing so build the basis for deeper levels of trust. Every concern not communicated is another possible fact left hazy. Hazy facts leave reasoning up to the imagination. (Which isn't very good at reasoning.) What the imagination creates in the place of fact will be accepted as fact unless proven wrong. Deep levels of trust are developed by three primary factors. Time, Consistency (of fact), and Communication (to ensure facts are accurate and not generated by imagination.) With enough time to prove that you are reliable, your intentions are pure and through good communication to iron out any discrepancies; you can be trusted by anyone. By conducting an ongoing evaluation of whether the other person is reliable, their intentions are pure and through good communication to iron out any discrepancies; you can learn to trust anyone - the intelligent way. |
Main
